We focus so  much on what leaders need to do that sometimes we need to take a look at a few things leaders should stop doing.

First we talked about objectifying people and then looked at the dangers of an excessive need to win and today we examine how ineffective blaming can be to our leadership and the organizations we lead.

Blame Storming

Blame has been part of the human story from the very earliest of time and it never helps the other person (or us) get any better. I love this Direct TV commercial on blame storming:

When we blame others it actually invites them to resist our leadership and in turn provokes them to either deflect or shift responsibility. Holding others accountable can be done without aggressive blame storming and when a leader figures out how to do that, they can actually say things directly to people that doesn’t invite resistance but rather cooperation. Here’s some quick facts about blame:

Blame is an offensive way to place responsibility.

Most people are already in a defensive posture.

Blame provokes people to actually get worse.

You can recognize one’s responsibility without blaming.

Once blame begins, it invites more blame and soon the blame storming has reached full tilt until communication is all but dead. The key is that people respond to how you feel even more so than what you say. Speaking the truth with genuine affection and respect for the person will help disarm the defensive nature of the one you are holding accountable and end the vicious cycle of blame.